Putting a Fork in Grand Forks

 I took a look at my schedule and it would appear that this is the last time I will ever be in Grand Forks, North Dakota. It's just as well because I can't work out why anyone would want to live there. This was my second trip to the land up north and my second time staying at the . . . Canad Inn? It's confusing. They have that mountain at the end of Canad like you're supposed to say, "Canada," but then they insist on only being called Canad. It makes no sense I tell ya! Anyway, The Canad--a  Inn has an indoor waterpark which apparently has become something of a legend amongst those who haven't been to Grand Forks. Both the captain and the flight attendant said it sounded fun, but the desk clerk informed them that it was one of the two days of the year that they close the waterpark down for maintenance. We all met up in one of the hotel's numerous restaurants a bit later.

If you recall from my last visit, I ordered a southwestern wrap which was mediocre at best. This time I tried a pasta place. In this venue, there was a group of 20 or so elderly women painting landscapes of trees while drinking wine. I am convinced that the Canad--a Inn functions like a community center. There are always tons of people inside, but I can't figure out why anyone would be staying at a hotel in Grand Forks. Anyway, I ordered New Orleans-style shrimp linguini with peppers. It was much better than the wrap. I explained to my flight crew that I enjoy eating locally inappropriate meals based on my location, but I think they were confused.

The following morning I fought off frostbite to do my walk-around which basically consisted of walking very rapidly around the plane after I quickly determined that we needed deicing based on the 8 inch icicles hanging from the nose and the snow and ice that covered our windscreen. Once the windows were cleared, we got this fine vista of . . . nothing as far as the eye could see. It's just so . . . barren. The captain I was flying with had just been transferred to Minneapolis from Salt Lake. He was taken aback by some of the places we landed. Untowered airports, short runways, landing on snow or ice, calculating weight & balance by hand...these are all things I have developed a skill for over the last couple months. They are also things I don't think I will miss next month when I'm in Houston.

Nort' Dakota

Now I can check North Dakota off from the list of states I have never been to. The only remaining states on my list are Oregon, Vermont, Rhode Island, and Arkansas. Exciting! I had four legs today and each of them required an instrument approach to land. Our second leg from Minneapolis to Brainerd is not even a long distance. The flight itself is little more than 25 minutes, but in that short span, the rain in Minneapolis morphed to snow in Brainerd. It was an alien-like landscape as we broke out of the clouds and saw white as far as the eye could see. The Unicom frequency called us and in a heavy Minnesota accent said, "You'll have to exit the runway down there at the end, that's the only one we've got plowed."

On the leg back to Minneapolis, Air Traffic Control stuck us in the middle of a massive cloud during our descent to the airport. The moisture built up very quickly. In a matter of minutes, there was a three inch layer of ice on the windshield wipers. The captain said he's never seen anything like it. I feel as though captains keep telling me things like this. Am I that lucky that I get to experience all these ridiculous weather phenomena in my first month on the line? It would seem that way...



The final leg of our journey took us to Grand Forks, North Dakota. After yet another instrument approach in one mile visibility, I landed with gusty winds onto a slick runway and we waited for the plows to clear a spot for us to approach the jetway. The captain remarked on the scene in front of us. "Why would anyone live here? Why would they put a flight school here?" The University of North Dakota has one of the largest aviation colleges in the country right here in Grand Forks. The other major colleges
are in California, Arizona, and Florida. . .you know, places one can routinely fly without having to wait for a plow. It has been an experience. During my walk-around, I almost slipped and fell on three different occasions. My hand nearly froze off and I have never felt so relieved to return to the jetbridge. Our hotel is some sort of Canadian chain with a waterpark inside along with about 6 restaurants. I placed an order for a cajun chicken wrap. I don't recommend it. Maybe I should have stuck with the poutine or some other Canadian-inspired fare. When I went to pick up my food, I almost wished I had just sat down in the restaurant to people watch. The male/female ratio was a bit skewed. If you are lonely and feel you desperately need a boyfriend, forget eHarmony. I mean, 10:1 odds are only slightly generous. I think I counted five females in the entire hotel. Three of them were working at the restaurant, one of them is our flight attendant, and the other one might have been a boy with long hair. I'm learning a lot about the United States, and how a large portion of the country is a lot tougher than I am. I simply cannot look out my window and be excited by any of this. It is a good reminder of why I live in California.