As I met Nicole at the Culver City Which-Wich during her lunch break on Friday, the people around us must have been confused. "Well we can get to San José, but we can't get back." "Phoenix is a no go. Overbooked." "Everyone's going to Las Vegas this weekend, so that's out." "Hotels in Monterey are too expensive." In the end, I pulled up a map on my computer and for some reason my eye was drawn to San Antonio. Seats available? Many. Hotels? Cheap enough. Alamo? Remembered.
We arrived Saturday around 2:30pm -- an awkward time for my always hungry belly. We had a late lunch / early dinner at a place called Esquire Tavern. We ate outside on the balcony on the famous riverwalk. The location was quiet and calm, elevated above the crowds of tourists below. That was one thing that became a bit stressful about this touristy part of town. The riverwalk sidewalks are not particularly wide whereas the people walking on them are. People would often stop in the middle as if to contemplate where they were going. Nicole speculates that on any given night, there are 100 people who fall into the river.
In the evening, we spent a little while watching a free concert along the river. Eventually two bold middle-aged women got up to dance and spin around. I think Nicole was hoping that they would eventually fall into the river. Sometimes we can be like the two old guys on the muppets. After a few songs, we continued on our way along the riverwalk. Earlier I had seen lights strung from trees and hanging from above. I thought it would be quite a sight at night, but none of them were illuminated. Shortly thereafter I discovered why.
Nicole was performing what appeared to be a new type of honky tonk, slapping leather, heel/toe jump kick move followed by some spastic boot scootin' boogie, but I then realized she was trying to avoid stepping on crickets. And there were easily over 100 on the small area of sidewalk in front of us. When we got back to our hotel, the neighbors next door were talking loudly, whistling, and just generally being obnoxious. To make matters worse, I found a cricket in our room. I trapped it in a styrofoam cup and dumped it humanely outside. 5 mins later I found another one. As the neighbors continued to whistle, I coaxed the cricket under the door that connected our two rooms. 20 seconds later I heard a shriek of, "Ack!!! It's another one!!!!!" We didn't hear anything from our neighbors the rest of the night. I guess the crickets got them. *Moment of silence* The third and final cricket was spotted brushing its teeth using
my toothbrush. I hit it with a towel, scooped it up with a cup, and threw it over the balcony. Apparently this is common in Central Texas this time of year when crickets become horny and just swarm.
As daylight came, the crickets disappeared. In fact, the tourist crowds were gone as well. After a breakfast of chorizo tacos, we enjoyed a tourist-free walk around the riverwalk. I had a banana split for lunch and readied myself to go back to LA. All in all, a relatively easy trip. No need to even rent a car. I can't really think of anything else we would have done in San Antonio. We all learned a valuable lesson, though. Stay away from the bright lights at night...and remember the Alamo.
