Friday, January 29, 2016

Why Your Airport Sucks: Cincinnati Edition

This week's trip marks my final trip out of Minneapolis and hopefully an end to the commuting issues and cold weather-related problems associated with it. I was lucky to not be strapped to the front of a 757 like last week's commute. This time I got a seat in the back and was able to finally finish the end of the movie, Amelia, which I was 5 minutes from finishing last week. And I know what you're thinking . . . Shouldn't I know how a biopic on Amelia Earhart ends? Well, I thought perhaps the filmmakers might pull a fast one on me and aliens might appear at the end to take her away. No dice.

The first leg of my final MSP trip went from Minneapolis to Cincinnati, where I would be forced to kill four hours in the airport. This proved to be more difficult than I anticipated. I thought Cincinnati was a much larger airport, but after Delta's merger with NorthWest and the collapse of Comair, half of the airport is literally abandoned. The two concourses that remain are almost as equally deserted. My four hour sit fell around dinner time, so I had McDonalds (the pickings were slim). Since I am technically in Kentucky, southern efficiency and work ethic was in full effect. I asked for a sprite and got a coke. This took about ten minutes and I was the only person in line. As you can see by the picture here, the food court was thriving. It was 5:30pm.

After acquiring food, I spent the next couple hours wandering aimlessly about the terminal. It would be unusual to see . . . anyone. It is uncanny how dead this airport is. Judging by the pictures you would think it was 1am on New Years day, but it is in fact 6:00 on a Friday. Food options? Lacking. Stores? Closed. And if that wasn't enough, despite the sheer lack of travelers, there was always a loud talker sitting close to me wherever I decided to sit and relax. "OH YEAH. THE PRESENTATION WENT REALLY WELL. GOT SOME GOOD FEEDBACK ON THE WHOLE THING. THE BOARD HAD A FEW NOTES, SO WE'LL JUST GO FROM THERE. MY FLIGHT LEAVES AT 6:30. I MET WITH JIM AND HE'S ALREADY THERE." Dammit, man, hurry up and go meet up with Jim. I can't take it anymore. My ears are bleeding. One more hour to go . . .